snugglemint: (Default)
[personal profile] snugglemint
Would be a rant?

Only if it's an angry ramble.

Raaawwwrrrr. :D

I really don't have anything that I feel is of dire importance to talk about, but it's been awhile since I've done a real post, so I thought that I was due for one.

Nevermind, I just had a "meeting."

I had talked with my mom last night and she said that she had talked to the boss about how she was unhappy here, which translated to me being full time.

Fine, whatever. I'll work full time despite the fact that I was miserable here and on the verge of quitting had I not had my hours cut back.

But today, today I come in and I get told that I have more work hours to do the thing I hate MOST. The god-damned fucking phone! I have to fucking schedule things, which means I have to spend ALL DAY on the phone.

Awesome. Real awesome, because I'm not miserable enough doing my daily calls already. Why not add more?

I know it will help my mom and I should just suck it up and do it. Extra money, blah, blah, blah. But the fact of it is, that I had to stop twice in writing this so that I could do something else to keep from crying.

I hate it THAT much. So much.

So it's official. I'm stuck here. No car. So it's here or home. Nothing in between. Ever. And now I have to spend even more time here. Where I hate it.

Usually I nod silently when he's saying something and look at him, but I pretty much kept my eyes averted and didn't nod once. My face was kept absolutely blank the whole time. My mom kept looking at me, I could see her in the peripheral, but I wouldn't look at her or make any sort of facial expression.

I was more interested in just trying to breath calmly.

My only grace is that I plan to go to school, but I wasn't going to try until Winter semester, and that's several months away. I don't know if I'll be able to handle one harsh environment into another. I'm going to be miserable here and beaten down, and then I'm going to go to college and it's going to beat me down too.

My brother and sister-in-law were going to come over yesterday to try and sort some things from my mother's old shop and get them ready to sell for her, to get her some money, but now we can't do that. The only time they have to come over is Monday and Tuesday, but I don't get off work til 5 now. So if they tried, we'd have their kids running around getting in the way.

On the upside I got the prompt for my auction fic and I'm really excited about it, but on the downside, when the hell am I going to have the energy?

-Sighs- I have three important things to write for and now 10 hours of my time siphoned off. Plus the extra time I have to stay on Friday's since he's declared we'll have to stay longer.

So basically, I'll be working at least 42 hours. And I don't get overtime because 2 of those hours are for 4 lunch breaks which I don't get to leave the office for.

Whatever, I guess I need to just suck it up.

I'm getting a headache from all of this.

And I swear to Merlin, the first person that says, "At least you have a job," is going to be sectumsempra'd.

Date: 2011-03-02 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

I don't know what kind of environment you work in (like if you have a desk or something) but why not prettify it with things that make you happy? Make sure you can ALWAYS see something that you love, something that reminds you of good things. As for the reduced spare time, make sure you treat yourself to something you love and enjoy at least ONCE a day to make the free time you have count.

Why can't you leave the office during lunch break, is it that short? If there was the tiniest glimps of sunlight outside I'd just go out and sit on a bench, or maybe take a walk around the block or something similar. I had 10 free minutes at work the other day and I spent it outside in the sunshine, best decision yet.

*hugs some more* I am sorry life is giving you the finger like that!

As for school, I am sure it'll be a party compared to what you are going through right now! At least you can meet new people there every day!

Date: 2011-03-02 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
...I don't think I can decorate my desk in slashy men and Drarry. o.O

I don't drive. I ride with my mom and basically I work in someone's home. So she leaves to get lunch and I sit here. I never leave until it's time to go home.

As for something I love to do, I don't have anything that makes me overtly happy that I can do daily.

Date: 2011-03-02 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I actually think you could, if it wasn't too obvious, I don't know, maybe a mug with a rainbow on it or something. We should sit down and come up with cryptic slash references you could use. Feng-Shui-wise you should totally get a plant to put on your desk, preferably something like a Peace Lily. They clean the air AND they can remind you of Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz who is made of awesome and joy. (you probably don't believe in feng shui, neither do I, but I did replace the photo of my dad, who's a dick, with a my third peace lily and the ENTIRE room suddenly feels cleaner, nicer and more alive)

I am not sure how far your home is from work and I also don't know how common it is to cycle where you live or whether it's even possible, but maybe you should get yourself a bike and just take a spin during lunch break. I find riding the bike to and back from work to be the most elating thing imagineable. If that's not possible, make your mum put on music YOU enjoy on the way to work, music that'll make you dance and happy. Not being a morning person myself I have found it's all about how you start the day.
Can't you work from your home? I mean, if you do stuff on the phone most of the time anyway, you don't exactly HAVE to be at this person's house, right?

Well, then do it every second day if possible. It doesn't even have to be a big thing, for me it's stuff like lighting some candles, putting on a CD I like and having a cuppa of glorious Lady Grey tea. Or I don't know, making myself some pudding and eating it. Just really small things, reading a page or two /chapter or two/scene or two of my favourite book/fic/etc. Just make sure you have at least one hour a day, where you get to do something for yourself that preferably has nothing to do with the phone or computers, because that way you'll actually feel time passing and feel like you wasted it.

Date: 2011-03-02 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Rainbow mug wouldn't work as we've no coffee maker here. Or microwave. Or refrigerator.


I don't really know that I have the space for a plant. I use every inch of my desk at times and the plant would just get in the way.

As for the music, my music would be something that I can only get on my mp3 player or on cd and I have no idea where my player is and the radio in the car is a tape deck.

It wouldn't be possible to bike to work. It'd take me like two and a half hours. I also don't have a bike as my last I got when I was 11. So yeah.

I know you're trying to help and I appreciate it and I'm not trying to be negative, but it's just not things that I can do.

Date: 2011-03-02 03:35 pm (UTC)
fire_juggler: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fire_juggler
Hey sweetie! I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Sounds like there's not much anyone can do to help, but know that we're all out here, sending you happy thoughts. Remember, when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot, and hang on. *hugs tight*

Date: 2011-03-02 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, but maybe if I let go of the rope, I'll fall into a giant mold of jello. And that would be fun. Until I suffocate in it.

I need Geliweed. Breath in the gelatin.

Date: 2011-03-03 02:15 pm (UTC)
fire_juggler: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fire_juggler
mmmmm.... Jello.

mmmmm.... Harry and Draco in jello.

Date: 2011-03-03 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
.... Braaaain diiiiiied. -Twirls around all happy like-

Date: 2011-03-03 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If possible, start socking some money away so you can buy a clunker car and work elsewhere. You should be able to get a decent one for $1000 or so. Will you get a tax refund? If so, that can also be used toward a car.

If you can't get out of the situation quickly, make sure you do things, NICE things, for yourself when you're not at work. Have some "me" time. Schedule it, even. If you have something to look forward to, it will help you get through your days.

Date: 2011-03-03 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have a car, it's just waiting on someone who said they would help to... actually help. Bastard.

.-. He's doing it for free, but seriously, don't tell me you'll do it when I get the parts and then still not have done it a month after said parts were bought.


I'm pretty much stuck there until I go to college.

As for things, something that I'd REALLY love to do is go to the park and sit out there and write, but that requires a car... Yeah. .-.

Date: 2011-03-03 08:05 pm (UTC)
alafaye: (Default)
From: [personal profile] alafaye


snugglemint: (Default)

January 2012


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