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Still thinking about watching Eclipse? Watched it already? Doesn't matter as long as you're interested. Please note that any comments of the negative fashion will be ignored, thus your time will have been poorly spent. (But I guess it makes you feel better to know that you're climbing higher in your goals to Assdom. Yes. Assdom.)

Okay, so this isn't so much a review, as my opinions.

You want a review? Fine. The movie was better than Twilight and New Moon put together. Overall, I'd give it a 90 in comparison.

You want opinions? Read on. There may contain spoilers, but they won't be spoilers for anyone that has read the books.

Okay, firstly, lets talk about the overall production. It's obvious that there was either more money or more care put into this film. I wouldn't call it all seamless, but it was definitely better. I think most of the improvement showed through with the make-up team. Some of the characters looked so much better to an insane degree.

Plot-line. Let's face it, any movie is not going to follow the exact plot of the book, and sometimes they make it very clear that they aren't even trying. (Or that they didn't even read the book, they just read the cliff-notes version.) However, there was very little that they left out.

Two examples that fans have expressed a love for that was presented in the movie as well as the book;

"I punched a werewolf in the face." and Rosalie wearing a wedding dress when she sought out her revenge.

Mostly, my reviews come down to characters. So let's look at each individually that need the spotlight.

How about we start with Victoria.

Victoria was originally played by Rachelle Lafevre in Twilight and New Moon, but due to some contract and scheduling issues she was fired as Victoria and replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard.

Okay. So here is Rachelle as Victoria.

And here is Bryce as Victoria.

Immediately you can tell a difference. Rachelle gave Victoria a primal look, while Bryce gave her a near aristocratic elegance. Of the two, Victoria was most definitely more feral. So Rachelle has a point there.

In the end, Bryce could have been a good Victoria, but I liken this situation to Dumbledore from the Harry Potter movies. Is Michael Gambon a good Dumbledore? Yes. Of course, but IS he Dumbledore? No. Not at all. Richard Harris gave life to Dumbledore in the most perfect of ways. He WAS Dumbledore. And Rachelle WAS Victoria.

This being her last movie, I really don't see why they fired her. It was devastating.

And you have to ask, does it really matter? She did a good job, so what's the difference? The difference is, in the beginning of the movie everyone is running, and they're all a blur. I didn't know that Rachelle had been replaced at this time, but from the running blur alone I could tell it was different.

It was disheartening.

Let's move on to something that WASN'T heartbreaking though. (Or...maybe it is. Depends on how you look at it.) Some of you may not agree, but for me what absolutely made this move was....

Jasper Cullen.

That's right. I said it. The guy that looked more like a blond Edward Scissorhands coming into the room stole the whole show for me.

Now, you may be thinking. What? Snugglemint, you're out of your mind. He's essentially a background character! Yes, but he's a background character that had a bigger speaking part. What does that have to do with anything? Just... listen to him. He has the most perfect southern drawl, and as a southern girl who has been subjected to all the ghastly accents, I'm completely sold.

It also helps that they fixed his hair. Instead of trying to make it more blond, they focused on making it look more real. You could definitely tell in the movies before that he was wearing a wig.

I did not want this boy to stop talking.

(And if you're wondering what I mean by Edward Scissorhands... Well, I was delighted to see that I was not the only one to think this way.)

Okay. The next biggest factor.

Rosalie Hale

This isn't on the movie, as you can tell by the lack of contacts, but it wasn't the contacts I wanted you to see. Rose always had the same problem that Jasper had. The hair just looked BAD. But as you can see, they fixed the problem with her as well.

I have to say that Rosalie looked so much prettier in this movie, however...

I did not enjoy or believe her acting. When they came in on her past, I wasn't buying any of it. It seemed forced and dispassionate. Personal opinion, of course, but I wasn't sold.

Onto the next!


Okay, Ashley Greene is gorgeous. She makes a perfect Alice, no doubt in the world about it. But. They've had one issue that they just can't seem to make up their minds on.

Her hair. And as you can see from the picture above, they didn't even try.

In the book her hair is a pixie cut. In the past they've tried just flipping it up, but this movie they let it go without an effort at all.

Who else can we pick on?

Perhaps Edward.

I'm too lazy to scour for a picture, but if you watched the movie you'll likely agree. Tweezers, Eddie. Tweezers.


You want a picture here of his naked torso, don't you? You do, huh? Well, sorry to disappoint. Muahahaha.

Jacob was fine in this movie, but I had one issue. And the issue wasn't even with him. It was with the kiss between Bella and Jacob. Now, maybe as a girl firmly on Team Edward I just blacked this part out, but when she asks him to kiss her before he leaves for the fight. They kiss. Right? Right. (I'm so very enthused.) But in the movie, they kiss, and then they pull apart and go back in for a second kiss.

My friend and I were the most annoying people there on opening night because at the second kiss we both, very loudly and simultaneously go, UUUUGHH!

Yeah. I guess my only solace is, he didn't get the girl.

One more mention.

Bree Tanner

Okay, so when Stephanie released her name, I felt that she should have been the lost sister on Full House. Can anyone seriously use the last name Tanner any longer without some kind of correlation?

So, the girl is played by Jodelle Ferland. Now, if you're like me you probably thought. "Hey! I know that girl!" For me, it was a recognition from Silent Hill.

Nevertheless, I have to say that while I never saw this portrayal, it was exceptional. It makes me want to read the book that Stephanie wrote for her.

Okay, the last thing I'll mention. The metallic sound when limbs are torn off the vampires. I think it was in the book, but actually hearing each metallic snap and jar. It was cringe-worthy.

Oh, I lied. There was one part that you should look for. When the newborns come to Forks, they do so through the water, and when you see them all emerging up from the water, it's just all around creepy.

So there you go, there is my review... or rather, my opinions.

Like them, hate them, agree with them. Your choice, just don't be rude about it.


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January 2012



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